Top ten jobs for the upcoming depression (satire)

[Mrs. Sharon B. Hodge]

The Garrulous Houstonian


Top Ten Jobs for Coming Great Depression
Just graduating and wondering how you're going to find a job during the mother of all Depressions? Laid off and looking for a new career path? Here are the Top 10 jobs that will be booming over the coming months as everyone else is crying in the coming Great Depression Start training now before the rush!

10. Car Wash Attendant. Think of all the wear and tear as people eat, sleep, and otherwise hibernate in their cars.
Be the first on your block to collect the coins every week when the stench finally drives them in for a cleaning

9. Solar Panel Thief.
Yes: steal and support greening the environment all at once! With the proper equipment, solar panels are yours for the taking and worth pennies on the dollar on eBay, just like stocks

8. Pawn Shop Dealer.
All you need is a table, a chair, some good old worthless American cash, and a keen eye for valuables and you too can start ripping off the desperadoes for their keepsakes and valuables

7. Campaign Consultant.
Get started now advising Congressmen who win re-election as they desperately try to solve the crisis while holding onto their careers by the tips of their fingernails

6. Repo Man. Good with break-ins and quick on your feet? This job could be for you.
Earn the respect of your peers and have stories of narrow escape from gunfire to tell the significant other

5. Federal Public Works Program Administrator. You'll have to wait a while before the government finally processes your paycheck.
But at least you'll have paperwork waiting for you every day

4. Drug Dealer. This is one economy that won't be affected by the bust.
Take advantage of increasing demand as people plug-in and drop-out to forget their woes

3. Ramon Noodle Manufacturer. Noodle processing plants will be hiring as they crank out the growing demand for .
49 cent dinners

2. Tent Salesman.
When out there living in tent-city, Americans will want the state-of-the-art camping equipment that only you can provide

1. Bankruptcy Attorney. Rank in hundreds an hour in legal fees before people start using dollar bills for fuel.
Then be the last person to turn out the lights


Source