LETTING GO OF PEOPLE THAT HURT YOU

[Diana]

LETTING GO OF PEOPLE THAT HURT YOU

What does it mean to let go and release? What does it entail to do this? Who and what do we need to let go of? What are the benefits of doing this? Have you had a problem in dealing with this?

To let go is to mentally, physically, and spiritually get rid of the source, and the thing that is bothering you, and making you sick. The sickness can involve several things. Your body, your mind, your spirit, your feelings, and your heart.

So what do we do to let it go? The thing you have to do is recognize that this is a problem for you, and why. Why does it hurt so bad? how do you deal with it in a positive way? Getting counseling, and talking about it with your friends, helps in releasing the volatile anger, and hurting that is going on inside you. When you hurt you hurt all over.

It doesn't just hurt physically, but the worst hurt is in your mind. The mind has a way that stores things, and it don't like to let things go nor like to forget why, and what all happened to make you feel this way. The mind is like a battle ground, it rehashes, and rehearses the situation that happen over, and over, and it will fight you over, and over until you just think your going to go nuts or crazy. No you're not going crazy; it is just the mind's fighting with reason and logic. The mind does this because it has to decide, and reason within itself as to why it has to be deleted, and removed. The mind does this to protect you. This is one of the functions that it was created to do. This is also called the decision factor. We have to decide on every thing in this same manner. Creation works somewhat in the same way.

So what do we need to let go? Who do we need to let go? Letting go can be a physical, emotional, and a heartbreaking thing to do. It seems we have to hurt for a while. Why? Because we don't want to forget, and forgive. Because holding it all in is just another way of keeping up the hurt. Sometimes we just want to hold on the memories. Memories and more memories of the person who we thought we loved, and cared for. The things we did with them, and why we did them with them. Sometimes we hold on to the thoughts of what was said between each other, and the actions that happened too. This is a fantasy thing and a form of denial. You just don't want to recognize that this person is unhealthy for you, and the relationship is unhealthy.

After a while it gets to be too much, and you say to yourself, "I have had enough!" Now is when the breakthrough will happen, and you can decide to break it off from the person. You have now gotten to the point that you can begin to see from the fantacy person, and see the reality that you need to take care of, "YOU." You don't have to take care of the person hurting you any more. This is also called a Co-dependant behavior. Co-dependantcy is trying to keep peace all all cost. Your health, your mind, and you will walk on egg shells, so to speek, to keep things from going into a difficult thing. It is just too scary to deal with.

With unhealthy people, you have to prepare yourself, and believe in yourself, and have courage, and be brave to confront that person. Practice and write it down on paper. Practice looking in the mirror talking it out until you feel that the words and feelings are right for you. By all means have control over your self, and behavior. This is hard, but you will love yourself later for that. Realize it for your self, and tell them what you feel, and why. Sometimes you have to defend yourself. This can be a scary thought and action to do. You will get the guilt trip thrown in your face and that person will try to control you, and try to manipulate you. Be strong. Don't give in. Stand for your rights, and don't show any fear, or backing off. This will give them the open door for more abuse, and control over you. If you need to, have another person with you, if you need a witness, and protection. If you need to ask for help, tell them every thing. If it is unsafe to confront the person then avoid them.

Another thing that is very important, is to keep a diary or journal. A diary or a journal is a source to have when you need proof, and documentaion if it becames a legal issue. Also when you journal, and write, it helps you feel out your feelings, and it helps the mind release the thoughts, and to organize your mind. Also it is a releasing for the emotions, pent up feelings, and turmoil that is going on inside your mind. Journaling also helps you recognize the things you may not like about that person sooner, and to make a decision as to what you want to do. It also helps you recognize any personal patterns of your behavior you need to work on, and what to change. Some time you are more vulnerable at certain times of the year, and suseptable to being used and manipulated by people that do mean harm to you. The harm can be mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical. There are times and seasons that we do have a problem with ourselves. For example aniversaries, holidays, birthdays, and seasons of the year.

I have learned this past year that I needed to rid myself of a damaging, and unhealthy relationships with a people that betrayed me. These were the steps and things that helped me to recover from this, and become a healthier more spiritual and stronger, self assured person that I am now.